Struggle is part of life, and just as the butterfly must struggle to release itself from the cocoon, we too must break free of the silk threads that have bound us in the past. The struggle for the butterfly is what gives strength and colour to its wings. And for us, the struggle is what gives us the strength of character to become all that we were meant to be…. and to fly.
Most often people struggle because they constantly ask themselves questions that are based in the negative. They ask questions from the position of being “in the cocoon”.
Is it possible to get out of this cocoon?
- Is it really possible for me to be successful?
- Is it possible to ever be really happy?
- Is it possible to raise happy, healthy children in today’s world?
- Is it possible to have lifelong relationships?
- Is it possible for me to be financially secure?
- Is it possible for me to be my ideal weight and stay there?
Those are absolutely the wrong questions to ask. The right question is not, ‘Is it possible?’ or ‘Am I worthy of the goal?’ but, ‘Is the goal worthy of me?’ You need to become the person first and then success comes to you.
Here are some great questions to ask yourself to identify what is really important to you:
- What are my most important values for my life?
- Why do I value these things?
- How much time, effort and energy do I devote to what I value?
- Who do I need to be to have no regrets at the end of my life?
- What is really important to me emotionally, physically and spiritually?
- What am I not prepared to compromise?
- How can I focus on living my life ‘in the now’?
- What must I do to continue growing?
- What new habits do I need to create positive results in my life?
- What is my foundational value in my relationship with my partner?
- Are my expectations for myself possible?
- Are my expectations for others possible?
- What is important to me about my lifestyle?
- What rewards to I derive from my career?
- Why is money important to me?
Now: The “Letting Go”
Go to a place where you will be uninterrupted and you can search your heart in depth. Write about all the times you have been disappointed and why. Who was it who disappointed you and what were the circumstances? Write about times you felt you tried to achieve something but became discouraged and why. What caused you to be upset? If you were depressed about your circumstances, write about that and why. Think about all the negative things that have happened to you, people who were important to you who have let you down, your unmet expectations, etc. Then write them down. Identify the emotional, spiritual, relationship and financial price to you of not releasing these hurts. Then take that piece of paper with all your hurts and decide to “let it go.” Now burn the paper. Let the ashes fall into the toilet and then flush it. Burning these negative memories and then flushing them releases you at the heart level. Those negative things from the past are now gone – non retrievable – and we from this day forward only look forward. We have learned from the past and the past no longer controls who we are and who we are capable of becoming. We are free to fly. We have broken the cocoon.
Now that you are ready to fly you must focus your attention on the basic values. That is why identifying your top five values and top five passions is so important.
Look at the five quadrants of living:
In each area you will have natural strengths and natural weaknesses. Identify these in each area. Now let’s focus on our strengths and make them even better, rather than focusing all our energy on our weakness. Where our focus goes our energy goes.
Taking the time to identify your strengths and passions is a gift you give to yourself. Once you know these you can stand tall with self confidence and, in advance, tell yourself you will never, ever quit on yourself. You simply cannot fail when you refuse to fail. Your dreams will be achieved by your commitment, courage, and faith. The beautiful “butterfly” you have chosen to become will be the greatest triumph of all.