Well to begin with, BBQ is an Australian abbreviation for a barbeque. IQ is the abbreviation for Intelligence Quotient. But the most important abbreviation is EQ, for Emotional Quotient (Emotional Intelligence). This is a characteristic you must consider to achieve everything you want in your life.
Did you know you can have the highest degree of mental intelligence or natural ability, and be the smartest kid on the block, but you never will be able to enjoy a well-balanced life if you are emotionally unstable?
If I had to make a choice between physical, mental, spiritual, financial or emotional intelligence, I would chose emotional intelligence every single time. Why? Without it, you are unable to commit to see things through or make wise decisions regarding any other areas of your life.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that intellectual intelligence, as represented by your IQ score, is not important. What I am saying is, in my opinion, emotional intelligence will serve you better.
For example, let’s say you are trying to decide whether you should invest in a company owned by your daughter’s husband. You are wealthy but your daughter and her husband are struggling financially.
She insists you help him because he desperately needs your financial backing to succeed. However, in your opinion, he does not have the relevant experience or business knowledge necessary for success. Her husband says he does and you’re pressured to make a decision. Would you:
A. Be detached and help her husband acquire more experience and knowledge before you commit and accept the ramifications?
B. Take a risk. Give him the money to keep the peace and hope for the best as you have plenty of money anyway.
C. Give him fifty percent of his asking price as long as he comes up with the balance.
The obvious answer to me is (A).
Warren Buffet, widely considered the most successful investor of the 20th century, once said you should never expect to be in control of your life if you are not in control of your emotions.
The question is, how do you achieve emotional intelligence? Well, for me, you have to be what I call, “principle-centered.” That means no matter what the circumstances are or with whom, your criteria for your decisions must be based on your principles and not based on the way you feel.
And, the closer to your heart the situations are, the more difficult it is to be detached and principle-centered. Not family-centered, not spouse-centered, not self-centered, but principle-centered.
Being principle-centered means always going with the right choice–no matter how difficult it feels to make that choice.
Have you ever been in a situation where you knew it was the wrong decision but you made it anyway because it was what you wanted? And then it turned out to be a disaster? I have and I learned the hard way.
No matter how much you want to do something, always go with the right thing to do (principle-centered) not what you want to do (emotion-centered). If you’re lucky, the choices are one and the same.
And how do you know the difference between an emotional choice and a principled choice? You develop the ability through continual self-development, the continual study of personal growth.
Make it your life’s quest to master the art of EQ, Emotional Intelligence. If you wish to find out more about this and do some further reading, get yourself a copy of Daniel Coleman’s Emotional Intelligence. Trust me, you will be so glad you did.