Where would you be in this world without true friends to share your experiences on this journey we call life, with the emphasis on the word “true?”
To trust a person with your dreams, personal secrets and ideas, you need to have set criteria of what a friend should be. But you still need to be flexible, so when you meet such a person, you will recognize them as a potential friend for you.
Many people put trust in other people who they assume are their true friends, only to be let down, sometimes harshly. Then these people are left to pick up the pieces of their lives.
There are many ways you can identify if a person is a friend or a “make believe” friend. You must choose the right people to surround yourself with – an inner circle of friendships that will last a long time.
Do not mistakenly believe that close, true friends can be created in a short period of time, as this surely will bring down your inner circle.
Close, true friends need to be nurtured and experienced. It takes effort and time to establish whether they belong in your true, close friendship category or in your acquaintance category.
Friends are supposed to enhance your life with joy, so make sure there is a lot of laughter and fun when you are together.
If you find there are more fights, arguments and unhappy moments rather than enjoyable, cheerful ones, then you must re-assess your friendship status and maybe bring it down to an acquaintance level. Otherwise, you will experience more frequent bad times than happy times, and with more ferocity as time passes.
One of the most important ingredients for establishing whether someone is a potential true friend is what most people already know, and that is common interests.
This is what usually sparks the beginning of two people wanting to spend time together and consider seeing each other on a regular basis.
The trap here is that, because they have common interests and are spending a lot of time together, they unwittingly trust each other, sharing intimate secrets and conversations with each other.
Later, they find the information they shared and the trust they gave is being used against them. They are therefore hurt in many different ways.
Once you meet a person, you must give yourself time for the nurturing to grow and mature before you classify him or her as a trusted friend.
Yes, I can hear you saying, “Of course that’s what I do.” But if that is correct, then you must ask yourself why your friends eventually treat you like they don’t care about your welfare or your well being?
The reason is you did not notice the small, telltale signs that were trying to warn you, “Beware and proceed with caution!”
It might be strange things they say or do that make you think to yourself, “Hmm, that did not make any sense to me.” Your intuition usually is correct, but you just passed it off and didn’t act at the time, for some reason or another.
It would be better to take a step back, assess the relationship, and not move forward again until you are completely satisfied with your new friend’s explanation of the unsettling behavior.
If you continue making excuses for him or her, it will come back and hit you in the face. Take careful heed from this proverb: If someone hurts you the first time, it is his or her fault; if he or she hurts you the second time, it is your fault!
Ever since I adopted this strategy, I have noticed that, most of the time, only people who treat me well come into my life. And for some reason, the people who don’t, more than likely, are just not there.
What you project, you attract. Now I move away very quickly from people who, for me, don’t quite measure up to my standards. I accept no excuses or compromises when it comes to protecting my welfare and my well-being.
My results have been amazing. I have very dear friends. Some I see often, and some I see not so often; some are near, and some are far. But I know they are all true friends because we have gone the distance and will be there for each other in good times and bad.
Build friendships and you will build a fun life.