The attributes that you need to have a successful relationship with someone are really common to all human beings.
For me, the most important attribute is having unconditional love, but this could mean different things to different people. Therefore, it is important to find out what this means to the person you are considering as a love partner.
The reason people begin a relationship in love and end up in a relationship in hate is because they do not ask enough questions. The higher the quality of questions you ask, the higher the quality results you will receive.
For instance, think about when you meet a person of the opposite sex. After a while, you are trying to decide whether you should have a close relationship with this person.
If unconditional love is your top priority, then one of the questions you should be asking might go something like this, “In your opinion, why did your past relationships not work out for you, and what do you think you contributed to the failure of those relationships?”
POW!!! What a powerful question! Ask that question and see the look on their face! They will have to dig deep down into their emotions to find an answer. With a few more soul-searching questions, you will find out if the unconditional love they are offering is the same you want to receive.
When I asked that question a long time ago, all I got was this shocked look of disbelief. You know, the one where the mouth is wide open and the eyes are nearly cross-eyed.
I can tell you that most of the time people will try avoiding the answer. If you want to reduce the risk of a horrible ending down the road, you should insist upon for an answer. If the person doesn’t give you one then I strongly suggest you move on.
When I tried this strategy many years ago, paired together with a few more high-quality questions, I found myself meeting and ending relationships about every three months. The beauty of it was that I stayed friends with most of these ladies because I knew we were not compatible.
I was comfortable just moving on before we became too close. So were they, because the longer the relationship continues, the more difficult it is to end. Let me say that I met quite a few ladies during my three year search but I did find the love of my life. I can say we never have had an argument (a difference of opinion, yes, but never an argument) and we are very much in love. It has been nearly four years now and our relationship is a wonderful place to be.
The next factor(s) you should seriously consider are the parent(s) of your potential partner and how they treated him/her when they were growing up.
Believe you me, when you spend time with your lover and their behavior, you are most likely spending time with their past, including behaviors learned from their parents. Parents hand down their beliefs, values and behaviors to their children.
Therefore, if you do not like your lover’s parents, and your lover has not made any significant changes, you eventually will lose interest in that person. A breakdown will be inevitable, usually under bad circumstances.
When a relative’s long-term relationship broke down, he was so angry and bitter (and so was she) because he put up with so much from his ex-wife’s parents as well as his wife.
He did not realize the mistake he had made all those years ago until after his divorce. The girl he married was a mirror of her parents. To conclude, it was nobody’s fault. It was just the lack of knowledge and information that really created this situation. They were just not compatible.
He felt so relieved and at peace (after all the pain had settled) that when it was all over, he could live his life purposefully again and be true to himself. It was the same in my own previous marriage and in many, many other marriages that people around the world have experienced, too.
What I am saying here is, once you have these in place you are free to experience and show unconditional love to the person you choose to be with.